woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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