I bet he comes in French.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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