New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
