Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
