pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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