Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize