It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
