your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
