I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
