the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
