I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
