you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
