Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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