Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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