WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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