I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize