that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
