Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
