Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
