your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
