I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I could fuck to npr.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
