Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
