How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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