It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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