What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
