the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
