So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
