i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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