i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's never too late to be topless.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
