and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I believe in your delicious
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
