Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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