i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just cropdusted the office
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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