So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I love you. Go after that dick
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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