Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
