I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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