I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
