Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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