people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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