i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just gift wrapped bread.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I didn't notice because vodka
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You ruined the universe
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
