Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
