Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
