im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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