Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
