I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize