And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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