i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
