i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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