im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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