I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
