Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
