She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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