Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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