So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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