Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
