so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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