Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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