I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
third nipple confirmed
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
